Monthly Archives: September 2015

Healthy Boundaries

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I am me and you are you.

I have needs and so do you.

We each have our limits, too.

I have boundaries to make sure my needs get met and my limits are respected.  It is my responsibility to enforce my boundaries.  My bubble. Your boundaries are your responsibility.  Your bubble.

I see you and you see me.

We can connect, like sending a messenger arrow.

Sometimes I need help, and I can ask. Sometimes you ask for help and I can provide.

Sometimes I offer to help you, and you can accept or decline.  Sometimes you offer to help me and I can accept or decline.

Sometimes I want to share with you what I’ve found.  I’d like you to listen to me. Sometimes you want to share with me what you’ve found.  I can listen to you.

Sometimes I might notice something about your bubble and want to share.  Sometimes you might share something you’ve noticed about mine.

Sometimes my bubble gets attacked.  It might sound like someone saying, “You don’t have needs!” “You don’t have limits!” “My need is yours!” or “You have to learn this!” “Do it my way!”  I have shields.  I can strengthen my bubble.

Sometimes I attack, too.  As soon as I realize, I can apologize, and make amends.

Sometimes I forget my needs and my bubble gets too small.  Sometimes I forget my limits and it’s like my bubble isn’t there at all.  Sometimes I try to define your bubble, or pull you into mine.  Or jump into yours.

Sometimes my shields are too strong and nothing gets in.  Sometimes my arrows seem too sharp and I stop sending them out.

We both learn.  By experimenting, we each find our comfort zones.  I learn which needs are important to me and what I can let go of.  I learn how much energy I have to help, and how much I want to help.  And how much I need help, and how much help is available.  I can change the way I do things at any point, in any way I see fit because it is my bubble and I am the one in charge.

(illustrations coming)

For further reading, see the Boundaries section of Care and Feeding School

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